Friday, September 02, 2005
trying to fry my brain~~

college has already ended...the time has come for....HOLIDAYS!!!! well....not really that joyful on the fact about the holidays...i dunno what to do during the holidays..though i have some stuff to do..but things can be done rather quickly~~

now wth to talk mind contains to many things for its own just wanna burst...i slept just now and woke up feeling cvery weird...ic ant friggin remember what i dreamt just now~~~as usual!! screw it man~~yea its my guess i gonna swear abit here and there...well..when i woke up...i felt tired..but rather refresh....but...really really pressured at the same time~~~cool huh~? NOT!!!

i feel the dream is important...something is about to happen? maybe~~~i think i dreamt fighting with a person~~not scold or anything~~more like punching...i think~~hahahah!! kinda lame~~~every night i have a dream..but ended up not remembering seems like god always dont want me to remember what i dreamt...i sometimes came up with some weird ideas...and think it may come in handy in the future...but god decided to make me forget in just a few minutes...evil man~~~ i'm gonna talk about current issues...the current crisis is hisham and usual man! hahahaha!! only this time its friggin serious~~~i gonna let my mind drive this topic up the wall~~its kinda complicated when you think of it~~~they have been friends since quanta...when hisham wanna try kau her...he found out she's with another guy~~~so he gave up on her and went after siew kheng~~

which he find it...kinda suffering after a while.....crazy man~~~the things he went through just for that girl~~yea i know...i also go through shits~~he send her letter la...follow to her alot...i also dunno what else he did ,and at that time i was also doing things on my own...busy being alone~~HAHAHAHAAHAH!!!! like an ass only when i think back~~~

he really make me used my brain alot last night~~~it took alot of my hidden energy to tihnk...once i realease will just keep on going and going and going till there is no more will power left to think...when we were talking seriously in the car..jess was in the car too~~HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

kinda funny when i think back about it...cant tell hisham she was in the was a good talk though..this bugger i dunno what will happen if never met him~~~guess he will be banging shits alone~~his shits always last damn long...but mine are just HARD~~~damn man~~~~what god wanna do with me also i dunno~~he wanna make me suffer now or whatever...just bring it on la.... to think about life...ppl think life is kinda easy...they live in a fantasy...where they never grow up and all that bullcrap...what if i never been born? i guess ppl here will live much more easier...i dont have to make my friends suffer...or become like some stupid fools...i guess life would be much different to tihnk about my current issues...heheh~~~

if i never came to sunway...jess wouldnt have to i right~? hahahaha!!! ok i tihnk i let my mind go free this time...well there are many possibilities that may happen if i not in college..jess will have a wonderful life not able to worry about anything like me....being the third wheel man~~~wow~~~aint that a grand that i have to make ppl hgurt again~~~my fault right?

maybe that person will say its not my fault again~~~yep..."again" whoa man~~~being in this condition is fine by me~~i dont mind...anything is fine~~~i tihnk of other ppl's welfare first before mine...yea..god create me this who cares la~~~i am not that friggin perfect also...a dumb ass in class...not really active i guess...i didnt get into kinda sucks..i not yet register for tennis club~~~whoa man~~~bummer~~~

now i am not myself..i tihnk~~~i nto sure...i damn blur nowe...i just let my fingers do the typing...not the brain...i just let it flow whatever it types..its just like that...its fine~~~now i am born into this life...too many responsibilities la....i took it face to face...i faced it~~~~being in a triangle aint that fun last not so bad like aslt time la....i dont force ppl to choose or whatever..unlike sufi and pris...

gila man i tell ya...super duper shit story~~~~one gal say no need to go for her..but indirectly telling me she wants me~~~and the other pressure to choose...and make a fuss....i in the end just choose sufi~~~nto with my heart~~~hahahahahah!!!!! damn dumb~~~~its stupid~~~~i think over and over again...i dont like pris....she's just too whatever on things...

now i met another person...i guess i blame god on give me another cobaan la~~~HAHAHAAHAHA!!!! of course i take it~~~and this time...i dont mind he gave me another suffereing...maybe it is a suffereing...but i dunno la! hahahaha!!! gila man....too many things i had to go think its fun ka god? does improve my mental strength to think things further...and make things better for everyone...but i get no benefit from it no? why is that? how am i gonna benefit from all this? a pot of gold will drop frmo the sky?

i think not man...the world is not that balance as it is...mana ada ying and yang? if the world is in order..than its i dunno what the frig i talking about....i guess when you wanna get something you must give back in equivalent exchange~~~its funny how the world certain parts of the world~~~certain countries are poorer~~~certain countries are rich~~~

aint that fair~? wow my life has been a roller coaster...if life is all the time happy...i think i also bored man~~~so i guess to make it more fun a ride is suppose to be..god decided to create a loop and a twirl in everyone's life...but he didnt think on how to balance it equally...i guess this is also what you call fate from the gods...or you're the one as a person create your own fate~~

life is a matter how many times you get shot must get up and face it again...even if you have no friends around you or you're just damn alone and stand on your own two feet~~~

i suffered as the mix blooded kid in the block~~~funny name and a funny do you think that makes it fair? my family wasnt rich to begin we are A-ok...i am the heir to the family name~~~its like i'm the prince man~~~sheesh~~~~funny thinking perasaning of being a prince~~i not handsome at all la...just twist my looks here and there...and just dress funny and whatever~~~i decided to go along with the suffering...trying to learn from it..i was spoiled by my parents since i was born...of course...the first born child and grandchild in the family...what do you expect?

i recieved presents such as gold....only the first born gets it...yea..thats me....i carry the name "Abang" wow...and a muslim at that....ppl say i had it easy in the kau girls business...actually no...i never say anything to kau them...i just let things come to me and i take it i guess...i dont choose...sure...other malay guys will have their day of going for a girl who is chinese~~think its easy ka now? of course not...some parents will have funny ideas and all that...they will say cant eat pork la..cant drink fun being a i right? to a certain extent i guess~~~not all parents are like that...but come on man..think...sooner or later the relationship may crumble...who think its fair?

no its not....i kena alot...even its my first ex...abit too much right? there are other ppl who suffer worse than me...but i am a fast learner la...yea..perasaning again...well...i know...who cares what other ppl think la...but i think for the good of ppl...not me....i let my self die first...i rather kill myself...if that makes ppl happy...i mean not literally..but yea...hisham said i am in this triangle again...

i told him edi...cobaan man...he told me kelvin deserve it...but i guess not la...its like bad karma man~~~but no...its not....other ppl had it worse...they think its karma..but its seriously not...the cycle is not never ending...kian guan made it out just fine~~~kok yew is also fine~~~my buddy john also is doing great with his girl~~the only one who never really tried out the relationship game is hisham~~~why i say try? well i did say i try out a relationship...and actually fall for the gal...and all that...try to jaga her...take care of her...and finally get SHOT down by kinda sucks huh?

ming yang and his girl are doing fine since form 3 man! freaking long is that? kina guan already one god man.....ppl say it wont last...but it did right? hahahahaha!!!!
see how funny life is~? kaing guan got it out just fine on the first try...aint that a breeze? no...its not...a relationship..its hard to maintain what ppl said...must be able to walk hand in hand with your partner...or whatever...must be able to appreciate..and balh blah blah...yea i think so too...

but...this doesnt mean they have to be literally husband and wife right? i mean ppl say....they dont have to be serious in relationships because its just couple here and there only...fark them la....its not so easy at all i tell ya...sure along the a few will threaten to break up....

aduh...i also dunno what my head is doing to me already....gila  man..type so damn bloody long...its complicated...i guess the blog helps me release my excessive waste of energy~~~HAHAAHAHAHHA!!!! well..i left alot of things hanging i am ok i think...not funny like before....all that dream's fault~~HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~!!!!!!

i think it mustve been some nightmare...but i didnt wake up from it because i am too used to it~?
ah!!!whatever la~~~my brain is already at normal and blur status...HAHAHAHA!!! till next time~~~ciowz ya'll

Posted at 06:05 pm by Shinko
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Thursday, September 01, 2005
hmmm...just a wonder

yo....i am back again with more bullcrap..i think...well i have changed the profile and layout..just to suit the blog more i guess...i changed the blog name as well as the address..ahhhh.......dunno what to say day in college has already ended...well nto exactly..but i am still in college...hahah!! typing out again...nothing to thoughts running by itself...maybe i just keep on typing till something pops up out of nowhere and start talking about the topic


i think i will just typ whatever my mind feels like thinking? at college has been ok...just that pokai~~HAHAHAHA!!! cant even afford to buy lame is that man aiyo~~hahahah!! but lucky i have enough money to buy some food...which kinda sucked...i still feel hungry~~~sheesh...hungry is evil~~~but must eat...adeh~~~

econs today was kinda ok....have to stay awake here and there to keep up with the lesson...i nearly fell a sleep...too tired i guess...speaking of tired....i slept like a log last night...but when i wake up.....i was like "wth man~~~~" felt body was heavy...i guess this goes to show...that my body's been slacking too much? HAAAHAHHAHAAH!!! after econs...i just went to the library and slept...after that was waken up by an angel~~HAHAHHAHAAHAHAA!!!!!!!! omg i just killed myself~~

after that was general paper was kinda's topic was kinda cool..but to a certain got kinda sad...i didnt know mr and mrs wong had to go through such things...and they are still teaching kids in college...i heard from david mrs wong is kinda pregnant...hope its another girl/guy genius~~not an ill child~~~~or maybe i got the wrong mrs wong~~~hahahaahha!!!!

now i dunno what else to type...since i have so much free time...i dunno what to brain is kinda dried up already~~ok..guess i stop here then~~~~tooo.....side tracked~~~HAHAAHAAHA!!!!

or just plain tired~~~bai bai minna~~~~

Posted at 07:21 pm by Shinko
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2 years later~~~~

yes!! do you know what today is? updating time~after a long two years...of not updating this blog..i finally decided to open it and crap some more about some stuff or issues or whatever....its been fun in college..a new life...and lots of new struggles over my subjects...TESTS!!!!! OMFG man~~~~they're damn hard~~ DAMN~~~*tries to copy vinodh's slang* HAHAHAH!!!

i met some cool new friends over here and i dont mind making more frkiends than ever~~things have been ok..i tihnk~~HAHAHA!! got la some funny funny tihngs here and there...alot of new things...and guess what? reading my old posts in this blog makes me sick...god knows how friggin lame i was~and i still lame as ever~~ and to my friends there...i of you will say "FARK YOU!!! this is not you typing this!!" yea yea~~gotta keep a low and good image ya?

hmmm...i've just pick up a few new skills along the way in how to play pool..badminton..and tennis~~now i have to pick up one new skill..tht is to ace my tests..which have sucky results...ugh~~~the horror man~~~~ looking back at 2003...ahhhhhh~~~such good memories~~actually F*ck that la~~~i am now laughing at some ppl's pitiful faces when they saw how much i have changed~~buahahahah!

ok...old friends who i have in college...number one on the list!! i mean the number one ass is...*drum rolls* YAU FEI!!!! fark your sorry ass la fei hai~~~can go die for all i care man~~~

ok ok...enough bullcrap...well actually there is know why ther is still more? my head is moving by itself..not literally though...its just very mixed up and screwed at the moment..too many things inside and you know what will happen? CRASH!!! BOOM BABY!!! burn~~~~~ and i dont want a certain someone to see that happen right? yea~~that person willl surely read this...and alter will ask why...why and finally...why~~~~HAHAHAHAHAHAAHH!!!!!!! but i am ok la..fine la....sihat what we islam always say~~hehehehe~~~

god i am crazy...yea my fingers are moving by itself...

i cant stop myself from typing cause its moving and moving and it just wont listen to my brain..well actually it is...but...YOU SEEE!?!? i am talking to myself in my cool is that? LAME la~~~~~

i have funny rocks in my head...tak masuk akal...well...what else to talk about? hmmm...other ppl may see me as not the mature kind of guy...but actually...i think alot and may tend to twist around with my thoughts and end up getting my brains fried up...i think complicated things..think of things ppl dont like to think~~i like cartoons~~yea so~? immature and childish right? the rest of my thoughts? its confidential~~actually its quite simple..but complicated...a lost devil as i would say...a black magician~~buahahaha~~yea whatever

well...alot of shit has happened this year...alot of bullshit..and bullcrap...and more bullcrap..such as a stolen car...a stupid selfish gf..well actually i forgive her...but...malas to help her...i dont want to tell ppl the bgiger picture in life...can you predict how your life is gonna be like? yea...some ppl can..when they already have that special soemone with them...

when you tihnk about it...why wanna plan things with that special someone that early? have FUN la!! ok in a relationship...the person must be to what my buddy always say...cannot fool around...what happen to me last time is kinda bullcrap...breaking up with the same girl 3 times is like breaking up with 3 different claims to have suffered alot...but does she ever learn from it? i think not~~maybe...just a little...yea i am a mean bastard...right now as my mind is slowly automatically typing itself~~

hmmmi think i will end brain tired already...GOD!! FINALLY!!! next topic will be on love..or relationship...or bastards...or....just about nothing and has got to do with my life~~ciow ya'll~~

Posted at 01:09 pm by Shinko
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Monday, December 29, 2003
second day of cosplay

well today is another day of cosplay..except this time i was alone when i first reach there..i went to the shop again and bought water boys for yuki cause we missed the first part of the story but only watch the end of it ^^;; well may hon reach there before rociel and she said her hair is now plastic ^^;; well i met new friends there..only one i suppose..which was teh-o ^^;; and then himitsuki came well i sort of ask her is she himitsuki..she then ask me"how do you know me?!?!" i said through internet(sweat)" and the three of them chat away..then may hon said this guy is malay(pointing to me) then teh-o and himitsuki ask"mana ic?" i was like *sweat* i let them take a look at my ic and they were like satisfy to look at it..teh-o said "you dont look like a malay to me" after all that chat rociel came in with her hinoto costume and i was amaze to see her work done..she then said it was half done *sweat* behind her look somewhat was yuki and i felt relieve she was able to make it ^^;;;; tehn cosplay,teh-o and himi go near the stage and take pictures..there were a few cosplayers which i find pretty amusing..first of all the squall and seifer.they have the battle song hook up and it sound like there was someone playing the game..and they were like moving like the characters in the soon as the battle was over(seifer won) there was this song..the victory song of ff7,me and teh-o were like"WHAT?!?!" *sweat* it was strange indeed..well soon cosplay was over and rociel was chosen as one of the finalist ^^ well i saw yuki has cahnge into her other dress and ppl were like asking "are you cosplaying?" and they snap pictures of her ^^;;;; and then this guy came up to me too and ask me the same question the other guy was asking yuki..i was asking my self "am i wearing a costume?all i wore was grey cargo pants,a shirt from japan and a bag..we then walk to mc donalds to order some food and drinks and after that we went to the anime shop..then i was asking teh guy for moonchild and he said the same thing..its out of stock..and he said the thing may come tomorrow or one few days we walk around to find some tattoo shop yuki wanna go..but we culdnt find we head to coffee bean and boguht chocolate cakes ^^;;;; and some mocha..we then head back home..the road was jam..rociel and her mom were sleeping and uncle was tired so he said he wanna drive back and yuki were blabbing all the way back to rociel's house and practically the noisiest in the car?as soon as we drop two of rociel's friends off we then head back to her house and aunty was tired and want to sleep..same goes for rociel..i tihnk her eyes sez "i miss my bed" ^^;;;;;;;; well i sms my mom to come and pick us up..we then had a few talk bout how was today in sungei wang..and then we talk bout some stuff bout some secret admirers of mine and yuki said "you are so lucky you can have this kind of talk with your mom" *sweat* Well we then go to parade and my mom want to ask some tips on knitting..and we walk down later on to buy the conditioner she always wanted after dying hair ^^;; when we reach back home..yuki was changing clothes cause she doesnt want her mom to see that she was wearing the kind of clothes her mom forbid ^^;;;;; well..we then on the comp and start yakking bout RO i guess and she was playing for a while and said she wanna hog the ps2 and play Guilty gear X2..she said her bros dunno how to do all da combo stuff and said i was some kind of pro with the buttons and all ^^;; then it was time for her to go back home..i carried my wooden sword for fun cause it was already night and dark..well we cahtted along the way and then we reach her house and she ask to step one house away..then she shout to her mom to open the gate and we wave to each other bye..i was on the way home when i saw this guy walking towards me..he cant see my face because i was using my jacket with the hood on and i was carrying my sword..the guy then turn back and walk away PRETTY fast ^^;;;;;;;;;;;;;; i was laughing when i got my butt back home and told my bro bout it..ahah ^^;;

Posted at 08:02 pm by Shinko
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Sunday, December 28, 2003
cosplay is here! is cosplay..and i am not really thrill bout was going as plan when hakumaru came to da house..we then head off to yuki's house,the minute we reach there..i dunno what to do so me and him sat just across the house not knowing her parents are watching us..then we saw yuki..she was all prepared and all..then her parents was like told her not to go and then she shouted "forget it!" i was like..ok..her mom gave me and hakumaru the stare and me and him were like...frozen?then we walk off..i was dissapointed and pick up the ten cent in my pocket and throw it..i sms her sorry and then i called her when i reach home when my mom was shock to see me and hakumaru alone..i called her then..teh minute she picked up..i was like"sorry!" she said its ok and all..with that cheerful voice as usual i suppose..from there on i feel bad..i even cry while smiling on the phone talking to her..(i'm stupid to cry) well she didnt notice i went on talking ^^;;;;;; then i promise i buy her something..well bro and i were on our way to sungei wang andwhen we reach there..the place isnt completely open yet and i was like..this is we walk around a little and find ourselves not able to go ahead..we then sat at some coffee shop to wait for the place to liven the place liven up..we decided to walk around again..well i heard everyone has been talking bout the moonchild cd and was thinking of buying it for when i went there..the guy said it was sold out and they just ordered new stock for we walk down to the ground floor and watch cosplay..may hon came in to the picture and i save her a space (been fighting for it since i look like some Gangster with the clothes and hair) after cosplay..the four of us walk around aimlessly until may hon go to the anime shop to ask for moonchild..and i was like...*sweat* she was like screaming to me that some guy has boguht the last cd ^^;;; so i replied "ouh" and she said that got anothe suncomic just on floor above..and i said to her..these two are the same..they have the same stock..just that the one above is like much more wider i guess and more space to breathe..well..she didnt really listen i guess and we all followed her up and found out they have no moonchild.after that the four of us walk around and bump into may hon's mom and sis..then there she goes off to times square saying"i dont trust malaysia roller coaster!" ^^;;;; the three of us walk to teppanyaki and eat chiken rice there and then i help hakumaru get his first contacts..he got his eyes checked and the lady tried teaching him how to put on the contacts..but then she was like a bit tired of teaching we bought the contacts and the lady ask us.."you malay?" hakumaru was like "yes" then the lady ask me "so that means you are malay too right?" i answer in malay "ye kak!kenapa?tak caya ke?" i was laughing my head off when she was giving me The look.well after we get the contacts we were on our way back home..ouh and not to mention the pillow we boguht for rociel which was too weird for us to carry it around ^^;;;;;

Posted at 07:28 pm by Shinko
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Saturday, December 27, 2003
first entry?

well first  of all i would like to say sorry to sayoko for waiting such a long time to see what i am gonna post ^^;; nothign much has happen except that i am gonna watch ppl cosplay..for the past one week i have been helping rociel with her costume that i didnt have enoguh time to complete mine ^^;; so i hope that she will get first in cosplay..well yesterday we plan to see the tailor,and well..the costume is not that satisfying to pants is like too big and i tihnk she followed the wrong picture..same goes with the rest..they were all screwed up..but kenny's costume was the coolest..een thoguh its not really followed in the picture ^^;;;;;;;; er...well i nothing to talk much i will be at cosplay tomorrow..^^;;

Posted at 10:15 pm by Shinko
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The name is Tokiya~i'm just an average teenager living in a normal life..NOT!! life's been like a roller coaster~HAHAHAHAH!! hobbies..playing games..watching tv..hanging around with friends..though i have little friends now to hang out with~~hehe~~ right now i am studying in sunway college and having lotsa fun..i get to do things i never actually did before in my high school i am treating it like a come back from the dead of my so called anti social life~ well as the rest of cvan just read it out on my blog..analyze my way of typing and actually come to a conclusion as to what kind of person am i...hehe..treat it like a game to find out who am i and what am i~~thats all for now...ciowz~

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